I'll cop to the crime now

I had an awesome weekend (aside from the part when I caught a massive cold). Not only was the weekend a dream but tomorrow I have a date with a seriously attractive, seriously manly dude.

Yeah, he might get raped.

I'm not one for laughing out loud

and yet*.

(*because I snorted with laughter when I clicked over from Crackheady McRacist.)

what they want is to sell bridges

I wish that I were as stupid and delusional as some of the folks I know.

Our government can't figure out how to run Cash for Clunkers, can't figure out what to do with with prisoners already in jails, can't pay taxes (as individuals), can't get the DMV to notice the idiocy in putting my old NJ address on my new NY drivers' license and yet I'm to trust them with my pap smears and body as a whole.

Yeah. Right.

mansion, apartment, shack, house

Dear New York Yankees,

You're my most favorite ever. And you're so cute. And you're really, really smart and funny too. Oh! And earlier tonight, like when you beat the crap out of the Red Sox (again!), you like, looked really awesome. Do you like pizza? I like pizza. We should have pizza together one day.

That's all.

More than your friend,
E
XoXo

even helen keller could see

that this piece of garbage was a steroid using liar. But, if we're treating today's "breaking news" as ... news then here:

WHAT??!!?!?! This guy is a liar and a cheat?!?!




Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Please. He can't even tell the truth about his name. Who the F is David Arias?

Also; when Alex Rodriguez confessed to having using steroids Ortiz retorted that anyone who uses steroids should be banned for a season. Have a seat Fat Bitch.