Wednesday, February 29, 2012

the one where I'm way too into Friends (part 1)

I'm the sort of person that gets caught up in things/obsessed rather easily. When I realized I loved sweet potato Popchips I wanted them to be the thing I snacked on daily. Luckily though my obsessions have a decent ebb and flow to them, I don't generally get too obsessed for too long.

I used to watch Conan when I got into bed at night. But then Leno ruined everything and now Conan is on too late for before bed watching. So I switched to Sex and the City, but either that too was moved or I just stopped caring if I caught it. All this explains how I rediscovered my adoration for Friends. I forgot how annoying and un-worthy Emily was. How slippery, slimy and cave-manish Paolo was (by the way, if you have any interest in having your mind a little bit blown, click on the Paolo link and see what he looks like now). How Giovanni Ribisi was a random guy with a lost condom (accidentally dropped in Phoebe's guitar case) a few seasons before he became her doofus brother. Mainly I forgot how much I liked the core 6. So it began that every night I'd get into bed about 11pm, flip the cable box over to Nick at Nite and catch an episode or two (they air 4 episodes back to back but 2 usually does it for me) and then fall asleep dreaming of an over-sized gorgeous periwinkle apartment, perfectly smooth hair and endless cups of coffee (that may or may not be "stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them" - according to Phoebe's then boyfriend Roger the shrink a.k.a. Fisher Stevens).

Cut to December. This year, for Hanukkah one of my brothers gave me the boxed set of of the entire series of Friends. Pretty awesome, right? Yeah, I think so too. Well about a week or so ago, all caught up on Shameless I decided to start re-watching Friends beginning to end. I've already barreled through the first season (very easy as the episodes are only about 22 minutes long) and I'm halfway through the second.

Here are some things I've discovered regarding season 1 and part of season 2 on my second go round of Friends:
  • Rachel wears an inordinate amount of outfits that involve shorts and tights.
  • If Friends were on today, the cast would have to dress soooo much sluttier. These ankle-length skirts and long sleeve t's are cute but they'd never cut it.
  • Considering the focal point of the show was Central Perk or Monica's apartment it is Chandler and Joey's apartment that goes through the most incarnations. They have a sofa that comes and goes, a desk that space shifts a lot and an open food pantry (behind the refrigerator door) that goes from overflowing, to pared down, to having doors on it, to completely disappearing.
  • The Carol that tells Ross she's pregnant is not the same Carol that delivers their baby.
Also odd, there's a book that comes with the dvd set. It's a full episode guide and it gives you a little back story on the characters. According to the book:
  • Ross is Monica's younger brother (even though he's clearly the older one and was 1000% the older one in the flashback prom episode when he was sporting Tom Selleck's 'stache)
  • Monica is blue-collar (instead of just barely less spoiled like her Long Island neighbor and schoolmate Rachel), she's also kinda badass. The book describes her as a brash NYer with a personality similar to Rosie O'Donnell or Sandra Bernhard. Uhm... ok.
  • Rachel leaves Barry at the alter after getting high with Mindy and realizing she doesn't want to spend her entire life living in Teaneck, New Jersey and because she can't picture Barry without a Mr. Potato head head. Friends ends up being the rare 90's/2000's sitcom where no one ever smokes pot (except for Jon "we gotta make this" Lovitz). Actually, they barely even drank. What a sober bunch of twenty somethings!
  • Phoebe is homeless and has a habit of crashing at the place of her one night stands. She has no belongings except for (ready?)... her BIRD and her guitar. Her bird?!
  • Joey makes ends meet between acting gigs with his other two jobs. You see, he's also a bike messenger and he's a bouncer at the hottest clubs in the city. You could have fooled me.
  • I didn't notice anything especially odd relating to Chandler but given the other surprises maybe I should re-read the book.
It is kinda cool to see how the character's were originally fleshed out, Monica being older would have definitely explained her control freak-ness but her being younger explains that huge Ross shaped chip on her shoulder. I'd like to see Rachel as a pothead and I'm really glad Phoebe didn't have a bird (for 10 seasons!). No doubt I'll have lots more to share with you on this series which has been off the air for 7 years. I like to stay current.

Hey, remember when they looked like this:

Thursday, February 23, 2012


I came down with something sinus-y Sunday. My throat was on fire, burning like I'd spent Saturday licking subway handrails or Duane Reade door handles. I spent Sunday drinking hot minty tea with lemon and honey, gargling with saltwater and speaking as little as possible trying to stave off sickness. Not because I cared about missing work - first of all I get 20 sick days a year and I have almost no work ethic - but rather because I had a massage scheduled for Tuesday afternoon and I really really didn't want to miss that. 

Monday I went to work (stupid, I only ended up feeling shittier), I got home from work and promptly fell asleep, waking up at 8pm to watch How I (endlessly tease you about how I) Met Your Mother. I took cold medicine, had soup for dinner, slapped a breathe-right strip across my nose and went back to sleep. 

Tuesday I woke up feeling the exact same but I was positive a massage would help (because I lack common sense but enjoy indulgences) and I really wanted to just get there. I found two Claritins in my drawer from the last time my sinuses attacked, popped one, took a long hot shower and was actually beginning to feel better (all in my head). I even managed to get there on time, despite being in the worst location Manhattan possesses; Penn Station area. I warned the masseuse that I'd probably have to interrupt our session for a few nose blowings and we were on our way. Hippy-dippy chimes chimed in the background, I was doused in Neutrogena sesame oil and things were going well if not a little greasy. Then I sneezed.

The masseuse decided she'd help alleviate my sinus congestion by massage my face. After pouring oil over it. She spent, no joke, 15 minutes rubbing my cheeks and my nose and then doing this weird butterfly finger thing all over my face. Just as I was noting how weird that was I was also thinking I probably had another 15 minutes left. Suddenly she squeezed my shoulders, announced we were done and disappeared. Uhm, what the hell? How did a 60 minute massage lose 20 minutes? I got dressed feeling really annoyed, as I made my way down the hall to find her and ask what happened I could hear her voice through the wall, she was already getting started in another room. So at best no one at the desk would know why I'd lost 20 minutes and at best they'd offer to have someone else fill in but I'd have to get undressed and start all over just for 20 minutes... I was annoyed and not sure what to do so I left. That definitely wasn't the thing to do because know now I'm just annoyed and I screwed up my chance to have them fix it. What would you have done?

Wednesday I still felt shitty so I stayed home again (remember, 20 sick days). I cleaned up around the apartment and watched 
Life as We Know It. It was kind of really cute and totally watchable. Normally it seems like Katherine Heigl has a tricky time being watchable. I think it helps that Josh Duhamel was in this (Josh Lucas is too for that matter but eh... Josh Lucas is bland) and both he and the house the movie is shot in, are ridiculously gorgeous. Ok fine, the movie was decent the house was the star, it was house porn, are you happy now? 

Which reminds me of a thought I had while I was in bed last night, watching a few Friends episodes before bed. Remember when Phoebe carried her brother Frank and sister-in-law Alice's triplets? Well that was back in 1998 so the triplets would be nearing 15, for what it's worth I'm dying to see that sitcom. Frank and Alice with their crazed brood (including littlest triplet, the girl named Chandler) and wacky aunt Phoebe. Can anyone make this happen for me? An early birthday present perhaps? 

Today I woke up feeling better than I have in a few days. I got up and showered and went to the kitchen to get coffee when I discovered the dog was now not feeling well. Ah fuck. Well I guess
ah crap is more appropriate. I clean that up, get dressed and ready to go when I realize I can't find my glasses. Any. Where. This is not so crazy, I'm awful with my glasses, constantly taking them off and leaving them in whatever room I was just in. I've been surprisingly good about not leaving them anywhere but really I think that's just because I need them to see distances, that's the only reason they're not at a nail salon somewhere. I check the living room where I watched Law & Order: SVU last night. Nope. The kitchen, bathroom, my room again, my closet, in my bed, under my bed, under the sofa, no, no, no, no glasses anywhere. I'm late now, if I don't go I'm going to miss the last bus. I give up, put in my contacts (hate!) and rush out getting to the bus stop just in time to see the last bus pull away. Offuckingcourse. I walk over to the subway because subway and bus through the Bronx is my plan B. I get on the 4, I'm pretty much as pissed off as I can be, the morning could have barely started off worse and at 125th Street a lady gets on, sits next to me and starts literally screaming in my face about how Jesus saved her life. She needs to be punched in the face. 

But what I really want to ask her is does she think he'll save it twice? 

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

my hot valentine's day date

last night I skipped out on a movie to go to the gym. I gave up sitting (sitting!) in the dark and snacking. Sitting and snacking are the shit folks and they are activities (eh?) at which I greatly excel. I gave that up for fast paced movement, bright lights and sweat. I'm not saying I insist on a reward or anything but if 5 pounds off my ass could be a reward I'd think that was very very fitting especially because the treadmill tvs kinda suck and How I Met Your Mother comes in really dark and I've watched everything in my itunes. Incidentally Touch and The River seem pretty interesting so far but after Lost I think the numbers aspect of Touch might piss me off after awhile.

Are you watching any new shows that have piqued your curiosity so far?
My Wish List