Friday, March 9, 2012

who's a debbie downer?

I'm so ill prepared for a big fat birthday. I'm just not feeling it. It feels nothing like a celebration and completely like a "Calling Before the Yardstick" ceremony where I bear witness to my lack of accomplishment. 

Married? No.
Children? No. 
Published? No. 
Well surely then I've made great strides in my professional growth and am experiencing an enriching and lucrative career. Ha! No.
A well appointed home that I've poured my non-marital, empty-wombed self into decorating? To the contrary, I think the Con-Ed construction going on right outside my building actually resulted in a tiny mouse skittering across my living room floor last night. At least that's what my dog's sudden crazed behavior indicated. Ah metropolitan living, so high end and pristine. Enviable, really. You're feeling envy reading this, aren't you? 

There are of course a few consolations; Jennifer Aniston for example. She is very hot, very rich and famously single, more so even than me (my mom would violently disagree). If she's having a hard time finding someone to ring and ding her what hope can there possibly be for me? That's right, none (insert awkward ha ha  here). Also, no children means I very very rarely get peed or puked on. Sure, last Friday I was hanging out with my 5 year old friend and sure she leaned in to give me a good-bye kiss and of course in reality blew a raspberry in my mouth, but as a non-mom that just happens a lot less than you'd think it would. Sometimes I spend entire Saturdays or Sunday in pajamas. 

Then again, this could all change. Especially considering I recently learned that David Duchovny lives 9 blocks away from me and I have 4 days off coming. I think I'll get myself a Mulder for my birthday. 
Or this: 


  1. Look at the bright side . . . Jennifer Aniston can only meet people in show business. You can meet all kinds of guys in a lot of different places she essentially can't!

    Then again, do you think you are doing all the same things Jennifer Aniston is doing? Do you go outside of your "comfort zone" (something she can't do)? What is the right person for you, and what would he want?

  2. A very belated Happy Birthday!

    And I'll toast with you to the positives of singlehood -- our options are still wide open in terms of careers, men and where we want to live; we have way more in common with Jennnifer Aniston than any of our married, with children friends, and we can enjoy a pajama Saturday/Sunday whenever we want!

    Oh, and in the winter, if we're not dating, we don't have to shave our legs unless we want to! ;)


My Wish List