Thursday, June 25, 2009

hey michael jackson,

you had some cool songs. You were really good at gliding backwards. When I was 12 Thriller scared the shit out of me and I really liked that song you did with Paul McCartney. I remember one afternoon in 1980something my grandma took me to see your movie 'The Wiz' - well done. Then you caught on fire. You morphed from a black dude to old Asian lady replete with parasol. You claimed to father 2 incredibly blond and downright Aryanesque children (I don't know about that 3rd kid). Then you got their mom(s) to sell them to you. Classy. Very. The only other black people I ever saw you with (besides your family) were Webster and Louis Farrakhan those are some interesting companions. While you may not have been convicted of abusing any children let's not fool ourselves; you were kind of a sick fcuk with your kiddie diddling fixations. You made an absolute fortune over the years, you were the biggest star and an undeniable success. In all those years you were never the spokesperson for any cause. To the best of my recollection, you never championed anyone but yourself.

And now you're dead.

(and for shame, you didn't even outlive Elizabeth Taylor or Liza Minnelli. At least now your son/daughter/kid Blanket has a shot at a 'normal' life. Kudos.)


  1. You were really good at gliding backwards omg that is the funniest thing i've heard all week.

  2. Awesome finally someone said sure those poor innocent boys arent there crying at the fact that Michael is dead and Im sure those dumb parents that even let their boys visit MJ werent there as well..

  3. Haha I forgot about the Pepsi commercial/hair incident.

  4. He did "We are the World" in 1985.
    And he helped kids with cancer. Or did he help himself to kids with cancer? One of those.

  5. This is the best thing I've seen to come out of this "tragedy."

  6. Hey remember those grade schools poem
    I Pledge Allegiance to the flag
    Michael Jackson is a fag
    Pepsi Cola burnt him up
    Now he;s drinking Seven UP

  7. hardcore...and perfectly spot on. The coverage? Make. It. Stop.


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